Life’s bundle of joy: college edition

“Push, push, push,push,” said the doctor and group of witnesses. Then, there he was my first little bundle of joy, a boy I might add.

I was 20, 5ft. 1in., and previously, before pregnancy of course, 105 lbs as I delivered my son weighing in at 8lbs. 14oz with his father’s height pretty definite in his future by being 20 3/4.

While pregnant, I continued on in college at Southeastern Louisiana University and planned to return a semester after having my son.

Ivana Ellis with her son on her graduation day at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, LA in May 2011. Photo courtesy of Denia Ellis.

 

 

 

 

However, along the way I was told by a friend’s grandmother that I would not go back after having a baby but guess what, I graduated on May 14, 2011 and could not be more ecstatic to tell those who believe young mothers will never continue on after having a child that I did and would do the same over and over again if I had to.

The biggest struggle of caring for my son during my college years was feeling I was putting pressure on my significant other, whom is my son’s father.

Late nights of doing major projects for my major such as a 25 paper at least, along with finding at least 20 journal articles that dealt with my thesis paper topic about how females are potrayed.

Fortunately to say, I have a supportive man who encouraged me all the way. Also, yes, I did complete that extremely long paper with 31 pages and a letter grade of a B.

My graduation day was perfect! I even received my first car from my loving parents, but not without shedding a ton of happy tears.The weather was beautiful. I had my family there. Graduation day for me meant even more because I had my son. It gave me power to know that as long as I stay focus and know I have to have my goal, I could and I did. Most importantly, I knew I had stepped on a statistic and no one could take that away.

Written September 2011.

Intentional…Are You?

Anerysum, murder, car accident, “naturally”…How will your story end and were you intentional about each day lived?  Sadly, someone’s life ends every second, fully lived or not, there time here has been completed.

At my age of 29, young to some, old to many, this 2018 year I have chosen to be INTENTIONAL. Time seems to go faster as you age, especially when you have 2 young kids, one of them being 5 months soon. Infants change physically and grow mentally each day. One day they can’t reach the toy or their bouncer and then the next they got it!

I feel as cell phones provide us with more “entertainment” it takes us further and further away from being intentional with our time and our life and who we spend our attention on.

Be honest with yourself, and me with myself, when was the last time a WHOLE day was spent without using a cell phone for what it is, a phone. Even at this moment, I use it to write and you most likely to read. No worries, that’s okay! Just be INTENTIONAL about how long you are on your phone and WHAT you are using it for. Staying in touch with family? Research?  Empowering yourself?

Last week, for whatever reason, it hit me! In just 10 years, I will be 39, my son will be 18, my daughter 10, my husband 40 and unless God says otherwise, my 2 doggies, sadly, will be gone. The next question to ask is “what did I do with those 10 years” and “Did I spend it enjoying those I love?”

“Happy Note” taken from ‘2018 {Instant} Happy Notes!’ from Sourcebooks, Inc. Photo by Ivana Oubre

 

 

The biggest shock for me when I thought of a 10 year leap is that my currently little 8-year-old boy will be an adult, whose voice has deepen, grown to 6 feet plus, and if he has his dream come true, living in another state for college. Yes, this is what I want for him, but I think to myself, what may seem like 10 years away is truly happening now.

Three weeks ago, on my birthday, I went in to take a picture of me kissing him on his forehead, ” No,” he said, “you can but don’t take a picture of it!” Did he mean to hurt me? Not at all, but it fueled me to want to be intentional over these next 10 years to LOVE him and SMOTHER him, with my mommy love and hold him while he still wants to be held, sung to and played with. Now, is there a good chance he will allow me to again one day, yes, but what is to say my final day will not have already come or God forbid, my son’s.

Ivana Oubre attempting to kiss her son. Photo by Ivana Oubre

Be INTENTIONAL with your days, with your time, with your loved ones, with your doggies or pets of other species, and LIVE the life you want TODAY and stop feeling too rushed or distracted to do what you said you would do. Remember the classic line, “Life is short.”

Now, pardon me, while I go and be intentional with my time and love on my son, who is sleeping, my daughter, who is patiently waiting to be fed, my dogs, who will greet me as if I have been gone for weeks, and my husband, who asks for me to just be me, and give him kisses that radiate just how much I adore him.